So of all the relationship books having to do with guy-girl things, this book has been the most eye-opening. I had mentioned this book earlier in Girl Talk Part 2 I read it a couple years ago, I was fifteen to be exact. I intend to read this over again, and would also highly recommend this as a mentoring resource. Here are a few main things I learned:
- Brothers & Fathers; It seemed to escape my notice, that as a daughter I could be a daughterly help-meet, or for my brothers, give them a real idea of what true womanhood was. And though I am by no means perfect, I can strive to be a supportive woman in their life, as a sister & friend. My Mom always says that the way we treat our siblings and parents is the way we’ll treat our future family/spouses.
- Guys are human- just like my brothers & they can be vulnerable too. I don’t mean vulnerable as in they are something like the cute puppy you need to pamper, help! No, rather that women have the power to influence a man’s life for the better or worse. Proverbs has 2 kinds of women, and there’s a reason why the wisest man on earth had a lot to say about them. And what about that jealous protectiveness we sisters get for our brothers when we see the wrong kind of proverbs girl lurking around? Especially when they don’t know it…. This book in a way helped show where this attitude may creep in the most unexpected places, in ourselves.
- Being a Sister – when we relate with guys, we sometimes forget their people too. We may think or worry about how they affect us, our purity, emotions, our reputations, our future. We know that we should treat them like brothers in the Lord; but sometimes we as women forget that man wasn’t created for woman, but rather marriage ( and relationships in general) are here to demonstrate & build the kingdom of God. We may know this as a truth, but we somehow manage to switch into the wrong mindset so easily and unknowingly. 🙁 Here’s another perspective from their book:
“Acting like a sister means not acting like a prospect(or)”
Simple but so true.
- Crushes are different than admiration. To respect & admire someone while treating them like a brother is far different than allowing them to become an idol in your life. I like how the book explains that you don’t have to ask Are crushes wrong? But rather, identify the thoughts/feelings about the situation and ask about that;
Am I allowing my imagination to run wild, filling in the blanks of what I don’t know about him? Is this wrong?
Am I seeking the best for himself, or am I in this for my own emotional security….?
If a girl was thinking/ acting like this about my future husband, what would I think?
What would my future husband think of my interaction? Isn’t giving away my emotional purity wrong?
This is where the true love takes place, now, be faithful to your future husband. Live as if his band is already on your finger- your claimed!
Yes, I know this part is hard, especially when you have no clue as to when / where /who/ how/etc. We’re really good at coming up with questions aren’t we?! We won’t all necessarily get married, but remember to whom we are faithful first. Without Christ fulfilling us ultimately, we’ll be an emotional fix; whether we try to do right or not.
Here’s just a few tidbits about the book itself:
I would recommend this book to any girl; especially since this book contains information about things she’s already been thinking about. I’ve recommended it to several of my younger sisters. If she thinks she’s old enough to worry about boys…she’s old enough to read this book. 😉
The book features comments from several young men, they give a different and insightful perspective.
You can buy the book @ https://botkinsisters.com/product/its-not-that-complicated
The Botkin sisters have a trailer (very well made, and amusing! 😀 ) Here is the link : It’s not that Complicated
Thank-you to the Elizabeth & Anna Sofia Botkin for such a great book! Thanks for reading, let me know of any additional questions or thoughts!
PS. Just letting you know, the links above are not affiliate links.