The ideal best friend. You know, the girl who’s always there to just talk to, for…hours. The girl with a shoulder for you to cry on, or the words to brighten your day. The girl you can laugh uproariously at and not even care. Maybe she’ll surprise you with a cute gift, or maybe she’s your “fix-it” girl with just the right solution. Case and point, she’s your best friend.
Girls, we are hard-wired relationship freaks. Girl friendships can be our greatest strength or our weakest point. How does a person be a godly girlfriend?
Here are 5 key principles to keep in mind.
#1: Make Christ your First Turn
You’re full of emotion and you just have to tell someone. It is really tempting to spill out all our feelings, thoughts, and concerns on our girlfriends. However, Psalms 62:8 gives us a different perspective “Pour out your heart before Him…”. We can read the words of David and know that he lived that out, and what songs of praise, joy, and thanksgiving flow out of him as a result. Girls, if Christ is our all and all, make Him your first turn. Reject the impulse of emotion, and pour yourself before your Heavenly Father. A friendship where you refrain from spewing baggage onto the other person is going to be much stronger in the end.
#2: Speak words that last
Talking can be done two ways: 1) blah, blah, blah or 2) meaningfully. Make the conversations with your girlfriends worth your time! Honestly, what I have found to be the most fulfilling and encouraging conversations with my girlfriends have been centered on the topic of spiritual growth. Sharing what we’ve learned in devotions, what we have recently discovered and what has challenged us. Just the simple question, “So, how are you doing, really.” Those talks live on – they are filled with purpose and genuine worth.
It’s more than using “Christian” words and spiritual sounding phrases. Girls, does anyone have to ask you to talk about the latest movie or book that you love? Of course not! It should be the same with our walk with Christ. We talk about the things that matter to us and your personal growth in His Word should be what matters most.
#3: Have a Code
No, not a secret language, but a code of language. 😉 Put boundaries in place that will govern what you talk about. This is key for keeping gossip out of the picture. We girls can follow so many rabbit trails in our conversations – but never run another person down in the process. Have a code that rules out conversations that do not encourage, and hold each other accountable to them.
#4: Challenge Each Other
Now, this can be tough. It can seem a whole lot easier to be the girl that just hugs their weeping friend, dries their tears, and whispers comfort to them. Don’t get me wrong – there are times and places for that. But a true friend also knows when to sit their bestie down and gently give them words of truth that will challenge them. Note, these words must come from a heart that is surrendered to the Holy Spirit – not an emotional hipe. Words of life can involve words of rebuke, be sure you are doing it in the spirit and nature of Christ.
#5: Know how to have fun…the right way
Spending time with your girlfriends is special. Movie nights, shopping, going for walks or just sitting down with coffee – these are all great things. However, just like girl talks, make sure these things will last – and they encourage. There will be more on this later 😉
So, there are some things that Kathleen and I have learned. Friendships are so precious, and having a relationship with another girl who loves Jesus is nothing short of amazing!